Abstract

For Aspie girls and women, dating and sexual relationships can be confusing, intimidating and potentially dangerous. Even if actively avoiding romantic relationships or sexual encounters, a lack of understanding about acceptable social interaction between men and women can leave Aspies vulnerable to negative experiences. It is vital, therefore, that the facts and unwritten rules about sexual conduct and relationships are clearly laid out for girls and women on the spectrum.

Understanding that Aspies need explanations to be explicit and unambiguous, Debi Brown, a female on the spectrum, presents the truth about sex and relationships, shares her personal insight and provides practical strategies for staying safe in many different situations. As she guides Aspies through the unwritten safety rules around dating, relationships and sex, her advice will empower females on the spectrum, allowing them to build up their knowledge, recognise and report abusive behaviour, understand boundaries, develop relationship skills and work towards a safe independence. Covering topics such as boyfriends, sex, pregnancy and rape, this book includes advice on building a support network, saying 'no', self-esteem and emotional healing and will prepare Aspie girls and women to make independent, informed and safe decisions when interacting with men.

Written with warmth, honesty and understanding, this is essential reading for every Aspie girl and woman, from age 13 upwards. It will also be a valuable source of insight and advice for parents, friends, professionals and anyone else supporting a female on the autism spectrum.

Debi Brown is a 34 year old Aspie. She has a post-graduate certificate in Autism from the University of Strathclyde, Scotland, and is an autism author, speaker and educator. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland.
As an Aspie herself, Debi Brown has written warmly, startlingly honestly and from a position of knowledge... She has understood the fundamental truth, that to ensure a girl's safety, it is vital to educate her... Debi doesn't use innuendo or assume knowledge on the part of the reader... She lays it bare, and when it all gets too difficult (some of the subject matter is deeply challenging), she envelops you warmly with reassurances and kind words. You feel as though you are sitting having a heart-to-heart chat with your best friend. This beautifully written book should be essential reading for all young women, not just Aspies.
from the foreword by Sarah Attwood, author of Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger's Syndrome
Would I recommend this book? Absolutely. Debi's thoroughness, frankness and clarity make it an important book for a lot of girls and women, not just those who are Aspies.
NAS
Many female Aspies will identify with the sense of uncertainty and vulnerability surrounding sexuality and relationships, which Debi Brown conveys with great sensitivity and honesty. Like a reassuring friend, she guides readers through a carefully structured series of 'rules' about social support, intimate relationships and safety. Written with tremendous warmth, this book gives indispensable advice for females with Asperger syndrome, as well as being enlightening for parents, like me. I particularly enjoyed the personal experiences and insights Debi shared.
Kate E Reynolds, counsellor, autism mother and author of Party Planning for Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum and Sexuality and Severe Autism (forthcoming)