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Time to Talk about Dying

Time to Talk about Dying

Fred Grewe

(2018)

Abstract

Presenting clergy and chaplains with unique therapeutic tools for helping senior adults enrich their later years, this book gives advice on how to strengthen relationships, find meaning in life and feel comfortable approaching life's final chapter.

It guides clergy and chaplains through how to effectively conduct "Soul Legacy" projects, in which older people reflect on what they want to leave behind for their loved ones and how they want to be remembered after they die. It enables older people to pay loved ones personal tributes and show them how important they are. By focusing on others rather than the self, it provides comfort for loved ones as well as the senior adult, prevents loneliness and negative feelings about ageing, and helps adults gradually become comfortable with the challenges of approaching the end of life.


Fred Grewe is a Hospice Chaplain at Providence Hospice in Medford, Oregon and an end-of-life care workshops leader. He holds a Doctor of Ministry degree from the Pacific School of Religion, Berkeley.
It is rare that deep wisdom and specific practice pour from the same tap-but they both indeed flow from Time to Talk About Dying. Rev. Fred Grewe and I have been friends for nearly forty years. We probably don't agree on everything, but I can attest to this: Fred has always possessed warm humour, a knack for storytelling (he used to be an actor) and most importantly, an uncommon curiosity about the intersection of God and the human soul. His many years as a chaplain have put a fine point on that twin-pursuit and have been leveraged in loving service for the dying. Every provider of spiritual care will find chunks of wisdom and tools for practical, professional growth
Bishop Todd Hunter, Anglican Churches for the Sake of Others
This important book should be read and considered by all who spend time with people at the end of their lives. Fred Grewe's insights and perspective have something to teach all of us.
Wendy Cadge, Professor of Sociology, Brandeis University
Grewe offers practical wisdom that is useful to all of us who care for and serve seniors nearing the end of their lives.
Susan W. Tolle MD, Professor of Medicine, Oregon Health & Science University
I commend this book as such a helpful book for clergy and chaplains. Fred writes with typical honesty, insight and sensitivity as he recalls real stories and the impact they have clearly had on his life. I believe this book to be a seriously helpful tool in helping people to die as well as they can, leaving a healthy legacy and blessing in the lives of loved ones and friends who remain.
Steve Prince, Pastor and Team Leader Brookside Church and Chaplain to Reading Football Club, UK
In this book, Fred Grewe shares rich stories from his work as a hospice chaplain about the experiences of his patients and their loved ones as they grapple with the spiritual challenges that accompany dying. While contemplating our death can lead to a fuller life, Grewe's stories show that waning time and energy prevent some patients from engaging these important tasks. The Soul Legacy Seminars he describes give senior adults an opportunity to focus on the important lessons we can learn from our mortality. Grewe is a wise spiritual guide, and his book will enrich the care that chaplains and clergy provide for all of us, who by choice or necessity contemplate our final days.
George Fitchett, Professor and Director of Research in the Department of Religion, Health, and Human Values, Rush University Medical Center

Table of Contents

Section Title Page Action Price
Time to Talk about Dying: How Clergy and Chaplains Can Help Senior Adults Prepare for a Good Death by Fred Grewe 3
Acknowledgments 9
Introduction 11
1. Addressing the Existential Issues that Terrify Us All 22
2. The Importance of Meaning at the End of Life 39
3. What Is a Soul Legacy? 51
4. Connecting with Your Soul 60
5. Connecting with Your Story 68
6. Connecting with the Sacred 78
7. Connecting with Others: Part One—Forgiveness 87
8. Connecting with Others: Part Two—Blessing 98
9. Connecting with Mortality 109
10. The Soul Legacy Seminar 127
Epilogue: So, What Have I Learned? 138
Appendix A: Suggestions for Group Study 142
Appendix B: Soul Print Exercise 146
Appendix C: Story Telling Exercise 147
Appendix D: Meditation on the Divine Connection 149
Appendix E: Blessing Exercise 150
Appendix F: The Nine Contemplations of Atisha, Plus One 151
References 158
Subject Index 163
Author Index 166
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