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The Parents’ Practical Guide to Resilience for Preteens and Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum

The Parents’ Practical Guide to Resilience for Preteens and Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum

Jeanette Purkis | Emma Goodall

(2018)

Abstract

This book empowers parents of autistic young people aged 11 to 20 to help them promote resilience in their child. Full of suggestions and simple activities, this easy-to-use resource will help guide parents on how to build the foundations of resilience and independence for situations such as negotiating sexuality and relationships, entering employment or living away from home.

It includes information about the main developmental stages for preteens and teens on the autism spectrum, and will take parents through life events and milestones at different ages and identify where difficulties and barriers to resilience may arise and how to address them.


This book offers parents a range of practical strategies to meet the challenge of re-orienting their children towards self-confidence, optimism and hope.
Vicki Bitsika, AM, PhD, MAPS, Professor of Autism Spectrum Disorder, Director for the Centre for Autism Spectrum Disorder, Bond University

Jeanette Purkis has a lived experience of autism and is also the author of a number of books looking at aspects of autism. She works full-time in the Australian Public Service.

Dr Emma Goodall has Asperger's syndrome and has professional experience of mental health services. The author of a number of books looking at aspects of autism, Emma is a Senior Autism Advisor in South Australia.

Table of Contents

Section Title Page Action Price
The Parents’ Practical Guide to Resilience for Preteens and Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum by Jeanette Purkis and Dr Emma Goodall 3
Introduction 9
Chapter 1. Resilience and Autistic Preteens, Teenagers and Young Adults 13
What is resilience? 13
What impedes resilience? 14
Why do autistic people need resilience? 17
How can resilience change your child’s life for the better? 18
How does a person acquire resilience? 19
What does resilience look like for teens and preteens on the autism spectrum? 21
Key concepts around resilience 21
Protective factors for resilience 24
Challenges to resilience 27
Autism and the ‘two puberties’ 31
The value of an autistic/neurodivergent peer group 35
Controlled challenges and supported risks 35
Chapter 2. Resilience and Autistic Children Aged 11–15 Years 38
Common characteristics of autistic children aged 11–15 years 38
Getting a diagnosis in preteen or early teenage years 38
Autistic characteristics and resilience 40
What are risk factors for resilience? 41
Thinking about sexuality 45
Issues with other teens 45
Resilience and bullying 46
What are protective factors for resilience? 49
Promoting and supporting independence 56
Autistic peers and role models 57
What does resilience look like at this life stage? 59
Chapter 3. Autistic Children Aged 11–15 60
Starting high school 60
Activities to help build resilience and confidence around starting high school 62
Homework and exams 66
Activities to explore different perspectives 66
Managing bad news 68
Activities around receiving bad news 70
Puberty changes 72
Activities around the experience of puberty 72
Social/emotional puberty 75
Letting go of unhelpful activities (e.g. internet addiction) 75
Issues with bullying 78
Activities supporting resilience and coping strategies around bullying 80
Indications of bullying 81
Boyfriends, girlfriends and crushes 81
Activity around boyfriends, girlfriends and crushes - OPEN FORUM 85
Using public transport or taking a school bus 86
Activities to support using public transport and/or the school bus 87
Death of a grandparent or other relative 89
Starting a bank account and learning to manage money 90
Activities around managing money 92
Chapter 4. Common Characteristics of Autistic Young People Aged 16–20 Years 95
What is life like for autistic teens and young adults? 95
What does resilience look like at this life stage? 97
Forging their own identity 98
Belonging, friends and peer groups 100
Significant changes – moving to further education and/or work 102
Getting a diagnosis in early adulthood 103
Social interactions 105
Forging their own identity 106
Boundaries and limits 106
Academic pressure 107
Managing the transition to adulthood 108
Protective factors and risk factors for autistic young adults 108
Navigating available services 112
Building self-advocacy skills 115
Promoting independence and self-reliance 116
Chapter 5. Young Autistic Adults Aged 16–20 119
Being told ‘no’ by parents – teenage wishes for independence 119
Activities around boundaries and availability 121
Attending the school dance, formal or prom 122
Activities around school dances, formals and proms 124
Parties and social events 126
Activities around parties 130
Decisions about alcohol and other drugs 131
Exercises around the experience of drugs and alcohol 135
Making independent decisions 137
Activities around responsibility and decision-making 139
Thinking about driving and learning to drive 140
Activities around driving 143
Leaving school 145
Activity to help build resilience and confidence around leaving school - OPEN QUESTIONS 149
Transitioning to further study 149
Activity to counter perfectionism 150
Transitioning to work 151
Activities to help build resilience and confidence around transitioning to work 154
Life skills for leaving home successfully 156
Activities to help build resilience and confidence around leaving home 158
Managing food – shopping, preparing, eating and cleaning up 158
Activities around managing food 160
Managing health 167
Activities around managing health 168
Managing sexuality and sexual health 169
Activities around sexual health, sexuality and gender 172
Chapter 6. Failing Successfully 177
Why failing well is a vital skill 177
Failure and mistakes are inevitable 178
Making failure useful 180
What does successful failure look like in autistic preteens, teens and young adults? 181
Challenges for autistic young people around failing 182
Impacts of not being able to manage failure well 183
Teaching autistic children and young people to fail successfully 184
Talking with your children and young people about successful failure 185
Exercise around understanding responses to errors 187
Building self-esteem and self-confidence for autistic children and young people 188
What does self-esteem look like? 189
Challenges to self-esteem for autistic children and young people 191
Protective factors for self-esteem 193
Useful Resources for Parents of Autistic Preteens, Teens and Young Adults 194
Web-based resources 194
Books 195
Books for autistic preteens and teens 196
Other resources 196
Autism in popular culture 197
Index 198
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