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Things Jon Didn’t Know About

Things Jon Didn’t Know About

Sue Henderson

(2017)

Additional Information

Book Details

Abstract

"Jon, my husband, took his own life at the age of 35. He left for work at 7.30, as usual. He kissed me, and our two children, as usual. He told me he loved me, which was not usual, but that didn't occur to me until later."

Sue Henderson candidly recounts the experience of raising her family as a single parent survivor of suicide. Alongside an honest and moving account of the day-to-day practicalities and emotional impact of Jon's death, there's advice on how to talk to children about death and suicide, how to support them as they grow up, and how to be aware of the heightened emotional risks for bereaved children.

She also draws on her experience as a social worker of 25 years to provide a theoretical framework for the book in which she discusses theories of grief and bereavement, issues of men's mental health, and the heightened incidence of male suicide.


Sue's book gives a genuine, heart-warming and wrenching account of how suicide changes family life forever. Winston's Wish is proud to have been part of their story, which illustrates that the direction of grief is never straightforward but families can find their own 'new normal'.
Suzannah Phillips, Development Lead, Winston’s Wish – the charity for bereaved children
Sue Henderson's personal story captures the distress, the disbelief, the questioning - but also the need to recover, to survive as a family. She brings a professional eye and even a wry humour to this most painful of subjects. It's an unusual book about a frequently hidden topic.
Prof Louis Appleby, Chair, National Suicide Prevention Strategy Advisory Group
Resilience and incredible positivity shine through the pages, and her frank account of the emotional fallout is balanced with some sound theoretical information. A must read for anyone affected by suicide.
Dr Mary Turner, Reader in Health Services Research, University of Huddersfield
This book is not another self-help manual ... it's a warm embrace from a kind friend: you will feel its arms come around you offering comfort, support and, above all, understanding.
Kate Buchanan, Humanist Celebrant, Humanist Society Scotland
Sue Henderson was a social worker for 25 years and for the majority of that time worked supporting adults and children experiencing adoption, fostering and kinship care. Her professional focus on advocacy and support continues through her current work with refugee re-settlement.
Reading Sue's book sent me on an emotional rollercoaster, which I didn't want to get off. I laughed at points, I cried at others, and at times I was so captivated I felt like I was experiencing their journey with them.
Donna Hastings, Bereavement Co-ordinator, Richmond’s Hope

Table of Contents

Section Title Page Action Price
Things Jon Didn't Know About - Our Life After My Husband’s Suicide, by Sue Henderson 5
Acknowledgements 11
Introduction - August 15th 2001 13
1. The Early Months 18
2. A Crash Course in Widowed Single Parenting 27
3. Falling Off the Conveyor Belt 51
4. The Not-Rules of Grief and Mourning 55
5. And the Walls Came Tumbling Down 69
6. ‘Too Stiff a Tree to Bear the Weight’ 73
7. Talking to the Children 90
8. Risks for Bereaved Children 104
9. Getting It Right for a Boy 111
10. New Relationships 115
11. A Word about Dreams 122
12. Acceptance 124
13. When Is It OK to Use Bereavement as an Excuse? 129
14, The Good Bits 131
15. What Doesn’t Kill You 136
A Man Called Jon 141
Appendix - Useful Information 145
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