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Sulky, Rowdy, Rude?

Sulky, Rowdy, Rude?

Bo Hejlskov Elvén | Tina Wiman

(2017)

Abstract

Children can go through difficult phases - this is a natural part of growing up. Conflicts and arguments are nothing exceptional, but rather a part of everyday family life. The authors of this practical and imaginative book show how parents can create consistent and effective structures, methods and responses, so that children can learn for themselves how to practise self-control and cooperation in a secure environment where they both belong and have autonomy.
Based on years of experience working with children, including those with special needs, the authors structure their methods around the low arousal approach. With many creative suggestions and real-life examples, this book has the potential to change family life for the better forever.


Sulky, Rowdy, Rude? Yet again Bo Hejlskov Elven and his colleague Tina Wiman have produced a wonderfully reflective book for families to help them focus on the behaviour of their child. In my view this book can also be read by frontline carers and other professionals working with children. There are a series of easy to read chapters which focus on how to understand the behaviour of young children and the low arousal approach permeates the entire book. In a user friendly way there are many themes that focus on how we perceive behaviours. Chapters include: 'Children behave well if they can' and my personal favourite 'conflicts consist of solutions'. The authors tailor the book well to their main audience. I would recommend this book widely.
Andrew McDonnell, Ph.D., CEO Studio3, Clinical Psychologist, and Visiting Professor of Autism Studies at Birmingham City University, UK
Oscar Wilde advised that if we wanted children to be good we first needed to make them happy. In this simply written, yet sophisticated book Bo Hejlskov Elvén and Tina Wiman invite us to understand the child's perspective through understanding our own part in it. Clear narrative and powerful vignettes combine to illustrate a range of gentle strategies to prevent or deal with conflict and confrontation that will appeal to parents and teachers alike.
Richard Mills, Research Autism and University of Bath
Bo Hejlskov Elvén is a Clinical Psychologist based in Sweden. He is an independent consultant and lecturer on autism and challenging behaviour, and an accredited Studio III trainer. In 2009, he was awarded the Puzzle Piece of the Year prize by the Swedish Autism Society for his lecturing and counselling on challenging behaviour. Tina Wiman is a specialist in the field of IT-support for children with special needs. Both Bo and Tina are parents.

Table of Contents

Section Title Page Action Price
Sulky, Rowdy, Rude? by Bo Hejlskov Elvén and Tina Wiman 3
Introduction 7
Part 1 - Principles 11
1. Who Has the Problem? 13
2. Children Behave Well If They Can 18
3. Children Always Do What Makes Sense 30
4. The One Who Takes Responsibility Can Make a Difference 35
5. Children Learn Nothing from Failure 50
6. You Need Self-control to Cooperate with Others 57
7. We All Do What We Can to Maintain Self-control 67
8. Emotions Are Contagious 72
9. Conflicts Consist of Solutions and Failures Require a Plan 85
10. We Make Demands of Children That They Don’t Make of Themselves – But in a Way That Works 91
11. It Isn’t Fair to Treat Everyone the Same 101
12. You Become a Leader When Someone Follows You 105
Part 2 - Cases and Action Plans 111
13. We Live in a Garage 113
14. Case Examples 117
15. The Principle of the Gentle Approach 156
16. Summary 164
Part 3 - Extra Materials 167
Study Materials 169
Further Reading 178
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