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Feminism and Men

Feminism and Men

Nikki van der Gaag

(2014)

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Abstract

Feminism has changed the world; it is radically reshaping women’s lives. But what about men? They still hold most of the power in the economy, in government, in religions, in the media and often in the family too. At the same time, many men are questioning traditional views about what it means to be a man. Others resent the gains women have made and want to turn back the clock. Nikki van der Gaag asks the question: how might feminism improve the lives of men as well as women? And is there a place for men in the feminist story?
Nikki van der Gaag is Director of Gender Justice and Women's Rights at Oxfam GB. She has been involved in feminism and development for more than 20 years and has held senior editorial and communications posts in the non-profit sector, including at Oxfam, the New Internationalist and the Panos Institute. She specializes in writing about gender, in particular girls’ issues, and men and gender equality. She is the principal author of six of the eight State of the World’s Girls reports and has written nine other books, including The No-nonsense Guide to Women’s Rights.
‘This book is highly recommended to anyone with an interest in issues around feminism and gender and could be the starting point for anyone looking to get an overview of men’s involvement in this movement.’ San Francisco Review of Books 'Globally, women have always been the vanguard in the struggle for gender equality. Yet as this book argues so persuasively we urgently need to engage men everywhere in the process, thereby allowing both women and men more freedom to pursue their full humanity, wholeness and balance. An essential text for all those engaging with development studies or any aspect of gendered education and health.' Lynne Segal, author of Why Feminism? 'This book is thoughtful, insightful, and an effective mix of theory and personal narratives which build a strong case about the importance of feminism embracing men and men embracing feminism.' Michael Kaufman, co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign 'Men's relation to feminism has long been a contentious issue, irresolvable by a simple yes or no. Which is what makes Nikki van der Gaag's book so valuable: she teases out different strands of engagement and support in a variety of venues. It's not a question of whether or not men can "be" feminists, but a question of how and where, and how they remain accountable.' Michael Kimmel, Distinguished Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies, Stony Brook University, author of Angry White Men and The Guy's Guide to Feminism 'Nikki van der Gaag successfully includes global voices in the conversation about men and feminism. With its attention to issues of work, education, caregiving and violence, this book is a welcome addition for all those seeking gender justice worldwide.' Shira Tarrant, PhD, author Men and Feminism and Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex, and Power. 'Thoroughly researched, engagingly written and refreshingly global in scope, Feminism and Men contributes significantly to the continuing debate over men's role in feminism. Nikki van der Gaag exhaustively examines her subject from multiple angles - political, economic, social, psychological and historical - to substantiate her argument that men must be more fully engaged in the struggle for gender justice.' Alyson Cole, Professor of Political Science and Women's Studies, City University of New York, and author of The Cult of True Victimhood: From the War on Welfare to the War on Terror

Table of Contents

Section Title Page Action Price
Front cover Front cover
About the author i
Title Page iii
Copyright iv
Contents v
Figures vi
Acknowledgements vii
1 Introduction 1
Time to change: men and feminism 1
Feminism and men for gender equality: together or apart? 3
Why write this book? 6
What this book brings to the debates 8
Touching a nerve: the process of writing 9
The structure of this book 12
2 Beyond the Binaries: Feminism and Men 15
Clearing the way: a man’s journey towards feminism 15
What kind of feminist are you? 16
Feminism: a four-letter word? 19
Why do I need feminism? 22
Including men in feminism: the devil is in the detail 22
Feminism, men and sexuality 29
Men’s rights: feminists as ‘agents of hate and corruption’ 33
Can men be feminists? 37
Equality and enlightenment: responses to the online survey for this book 41
1 Can a man be a feminist? 42
‘Equality makes me happy’: finding the sugar along with the medicine 44
3 Shifting Cultural and Social Attitudes 47
Becoming a better person … 47
Everybody has a penis … only girls wear barrettes 49
Puppy dog tails 51
Pink stinks 53
Red beans and hard hats 56
Big boys should cry 59
Phillip’s story 63
Body image 66
Pornography: making sexism sexy 68
Young men who hate porn 72
The influence of culture and religion 73
Men stand up for women in Cairo 78
Changing generations, changing attitudes 80
4 No zero-sum Game: Education and Health 84
A free human being 84
Standing on their own feet: why girls don’t go to school 87
Boys just want to play? 89
2 Learning achievement and progress, by gender, Vietnam 91
Parivartan: using sport to change boys’ attitudes 94
Wearing a white toga: parents’ aspirations 96
The Gender Equity Movement in Schools (GEMS) in India 97
3 A university education is more important for a boy than for a girl 98
‘Real men don’t get sick’? 99
4 Suicides, women and men, per 100,000 people, 2001–10 102
5 Percentage of young people aged fifteen to nineteen who had higher-risk sex with a non-marital, non-cohabitating partner in the last year, selected countries 104
Working together for gender equality 105
The Men’s Travelling Conference: changing traditional beliefs in Africa 106
‘Between Us’ in Brazil: for young men and young women 109
5 Giving up Power? Women, Men and Work 111
Jobs for the girls? 111
Working women, working men 113
6 Percentage of women in senior management around the world 116
Genderand the global economic crisis in the UK 118
Work is almost everything: the old architecture of manliness 120
Work is almost everything: young men and work 121
The ‘sticky floor’ – and poor man’s patriarchy 125
Double shift, triple burden 127
Fair pay for domestic work in Nicaragua 129
Leaning in? 130
From individual action to collective change 133
7 When jobs are scarce, men should have more right to a job 136
6 The Fatherhood Revolution? 143
Fatherhood and caring 143
The courage to raise a child 146
A badge of pride: paternity leave 147
Sweden: encouraging involved fatherhood 149
What women want … 149
8 Men’s and women’s reports of men’s participation in domestic duties, percentage 153
The dreaded exercise 154
… and what men need 156
What fathers say 157
9 Links between fathers’ and sons’ participation in domestic duties (defined as playing an equal or greater role in one or more duties) 158
The greatest support: the positive effects of active fathering 159
Young, black and proud to be a father 160
A fairer deal: what prevents men being more involved fathers? 162
Absent fathers 166
Children’s views of fathers in South Africa 168
Backlash: fathers’ rights groups 169
‘So scared I was shaking’: the way forward in supporting fathers 172
‘Daddy, I love you’: Young Dads TV 173
7 Proving their Manhood: Men and Violence 177
The final say 177
Breaking boundaries not bones 179
Examples of social and cultural norms that promote violence against women 183
The abusive husband who became a role model 184
‘Guys who fight are seen as cool’ 187
‘If you are raised well you will not behave violently’ 191
Unemployment, alcohol and violence 192
10 Men’s reportsof work-relatedstress 193
Male rape: a feminist issue 195
Male hierarchies: men killing men 197
Fear among the maras 199
‘She provoked me’: blaming women 201
Zaina’s story 202
Addressing the root causes 204
One Man Can: ‘See it and stop it' 206
8 Conclusion: Becoming Connected 210
Men and the future of feminism 210
Notes 214
1 Introduction 214
2 Beyond the binaries 214
3 Shifting cultural and social attitudes 216
4 No zero-sum game 219
5 Giving up power? 222
6 The fatherhood revolution? 226
7 Proving their manhood 229
8 Conclusion 233
Selected reading 234
Index 236
Back cover Back cover