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Counselling Skills in Everyday Life

Counselling Skills in Everyday Life

Kathryn Geldard | David Geldard

(2002)

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Book Details

Abstract

Most of us find ourselves listening to other people's problems at some time or another - either our friends' or, in the course of our work, patients, pupils, clients, colleagues. This book, written clearly in user friendly language, takes the reader step by step through a range of skills to help them become a better listener, communicator and helper in their everyday lives, progressing from inviting the person to talk to ending a helping conversation.

Using plenty of examples, tips, exercises and sample conversations, the authors show how the skills described can be easily learned and can fit comfortably into everyday life.

This book is essential reading for everyone interested in improving their communication and helping skills as well as those students taking introductory courses in counselling and counselling skills.

KATHERYN GELDARD is a Child and Family Therapist and a visiting lecturer at the Queensland University of Technology, Australia.

DAVID GELDARD is a Counselling Psychologist. Together they are the authors of several books on counselling. They jointly manage a counselling practice where they specialise in working with children, adolescents, and their families. They also run training programmes for helping professionals who wish to enhance their counselling skills.
KATHRYN GELDARD is a Child and Family Therapist and a visiting lecturer at the Queensland University of Technology, Australia.

DAVID GELDARD is a Counselling Psychologist. They jointly manage a counselling practice where they specialise in working with children, adolescents and their families. They also run training programmes for helping professionals who wish to enhance their counselling skills.

Table of Contents

Section Title Page Action Price
Cover Cove
Contents vii
1 What are counselling skills? 1
Who can use counselling skills? 2
If I use counselling skills will I be a counsellor? 5
What can we achieve by using counselling skills? 11
Choosing when, and when not, to use counselling skills 12
The impact on you if you use counselling skills 15
The advantages of using counselling skills 17
Expectations of yourself 17
Unrealistic expectations when using counselling skills 18
Realistic expectations 21
Chapter summary 22
Assignment exercises for coursework students 23
2 Valuing the person 24
The person-centred approach 24
Why do you want to help other people? 25
Helpful attitudes and characteristics 28
Confidentiality 38
Maintaining ethical principles 39
Understanding and respecting difference 43
Chapter summary 44
Assignment exercises for coursework students 44
3 Inviting a person to talk 47
Noticing that help may be needed 48
Noticing how other people look, speak, and behave 49
Inviting the person to talk 51
Should the initial invitation to talk be extended? 55
Offering a further invitation 60
The invitation to talk is accepted 63
Being approached for help 63
Arranging a time to talk 63
Referral to qualified helpers 64
When your invitation is refused 65
Possible responses to practice examples 65
Chapter summary 66
Assignment exercises for coursework students 67
4 Skills to help the person continue talking 68
Active listening 69
Joining by letting the person know that you are listening 69
Letting the person know that you have heard and understood 75
Practice examples 80
In conclusion 81
Responses to practice examples 82
Chapter summary 84
Assignment exercises for coursework students 84
5 Helping the person to feel better 86
The helping process 87
Validation 88
Helping the person to express and release emotions 91
Helping people who are distressed and crying 95
Protecting yourself from abuse 97
Recognising your own feelings 97
Chapter summary 100
Assignment exercises for coursework students 101
6 Focusing on the central problem 102
Helping the person to focus on their central problem 103
Summarising 105
Asking questions 111
The use of feedback statements 121
Making use of various skills 121
In conclusion 124
Chapter summary 124
Assignment exercises for coursework students 125
7 Exploring possible solutions 126
The solution must suit the person 127
Encouraging a person to take time to find a solution 128
Using active listening skills to explore possible solutions 129
Exploring alternatives 131
Useful questions to help identify possible solutions 135
Exploring the consequences of choosing a particular option 136
Consider the least desirable option first 137
Dealing with your own feelings 137
Deciding to do nothing can be a valid decision 139
Chapter summary 139
Assignment exercises for coursework students 140
8 Helping people to deal with everyday problems 141
Seeing the other person’s picture 141
The influence of cultural issues 143
Life stages 147
Dealing with everyday problems in childhood 147
Dealing with everyday problems in adolescence 151
Dealing with everyday problems in young adults 156
Dealing with everyday problems in early mid-life 160
Dealing with everyday problems in later mid-life 162
Dealing with everyday problems in older people 164
Understanding the nature of everday problems 169
Chapter summary 170
Assignment exercises for coursework students 170
9 Managing the ongoing relationship 174
Finishing the conversation sensitively 174
Attending to the future relationship 181
Referral to helping services 183
Chapter summary 184
Assignment exercises for coursework students 184
10 Attending to your own needs 186
Recognising the need to recharge 187
Looking after your own well-being 190
Talking with a counsellor 193
Attending to your own personal growth and development 194
Practical ways to grow and develop 195
Deciding where you want to fit as a helper 196
Understanding where you want to be 201
Chapter summary 202
Index 203