Abstract

Are you in the process of adopting and feeling out of your depth?

Do you already have an adopted child and are feeling overwhelmed?

Sharing the secrets that will enable you to face the challenges of adoptive parenting with confidence, Sophie Ashton offers tips and strategies which have worked for her family. She discusses preparing for the journey ahead, parenting with empathy, facilitating your child's attachment, helping your child feel listened to, and providing structure and consistency in order to successfully integrate your child into your family and go on to have a stable happy family life.

An honest and reassuring account of what it can really be like to be an adoptive parent, this practical hands-on guide will help you prepare for the highs and lows of being a parent and give your child and your family the best chance to flourish.

This is a must-have guide of tried and tested success strategies that adoptive parents can continually refer to when experiencing overwhelming challenges and emotions. This book offers practical support and structure for facing inevitable (but often taboo) difficulties, helping adoptive parents to integrate their adoptive child in crucial aspects of development such as self-esteem and attachment. The real-life examples reassured me that, through effective communication and self-care, I could manage and face any difficulty. I was also reassured that my own responses to our adopted child were natural and encouraged to carry on in a well informed and positive way. This book is engaging, inspiring and relevant.
Adoptive Mother, Buckinghamshire

I read this book whilst going through the adoption process myself, and it was the only one of many I read that gave practical solutions to real-life problem situations we might encounter with any adopted child. It is also the most candid about the feelings of frustration and bewilderment you may feel when dealing with your adopted child. The fact that it is written by somebody speaking from experience adds credibility to the advice being given.
The book should serve as a source of inspiration and hope for those who are really struggling with their child and is proof that you can work through any difficulties and have your own happy ending. The emotional side of things is coupled with tried and tested methods for coping as adoptive parents, whilst also dealing with difficult children.
If we are lucky to have a child placed with us I will definitely be using this book as an invaluable reference point, and I highly recommend it to anybody either going through the process or who has adopted already and is struggling with challenging situations.

Lal Lister, Potential Adoptive Parent
Sophie has managed to do something unique: to simultaneously show the realities of adopting a child, and also give us lots of good ideas on how to make this happen successfully. As a potential gay adopter, I found the suggested games and activities very inspiring. Sophie obviously has lots of hands-on experience in this area, and does not approach the topic from a purely theoretical angle. This makes her book feel human, and the suggestions immediately applicable. Potential adoptive parents, as well as those for-ever parents who need some practical advice, would really benefit from reading this book.
Mariano Tufro, Potential Adoptive Parent
This is the most honest, sensitive and hands-on practical book I have ever read on how to successfully navigate the emotional challenges of adopting a child. This is not advice based on theory, it is an experiential account of what works. Not just in terms of preparation, but right through the long, long period of ups and downs, angst, fear, frustration, tears, love and adjustment to the dawning of a happy family unit. Sophie Ashton handles raw emotional and psychological issues involving the dynamics of the whole family head on. Her focus on building self-esteem and nurturing through the senses to develop the brain are crucial. Do not read 'The Secrets of Successful Parenting' if you want a Disney perspective, this is a real book that, I believe, will become a reference book for many people wanting to adopt or have adopted a child.
Dr Lynda Shaw, Cognitive Neuroscientist, Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine
This is an essential book to prepare and accompany adoptive families and the professionals that support them for both pre and post adoption. The book offers a down to earth approach to managing the inevitable challenges and often trying situations that impact adoptive families. It is a well thought, well written and comprehensive 'adoption survival guide'. A highly recommended read.
Inbar Sagiv, Integrative Child Psychotherapist (MA) and Social Worker (BA)
Sophie Ashton has added to the rich literature by adopters for adopters. We know at Adoption UK how valuable the advice of experienced adopters is. Adoption transforms children's lives because adopters provide parenting that goes beyond what most parents have to deal with. Many adopted children and their families need and receive the support of professionals, what all benefit from is the wisdom and knowledge of those who have been there. Sophie's contribution is a valuable one and I can fully recommend this book.
Hugh Thornbery, Chief Executive, Adoption UK
Sophie Ashton is a mother of two wonderful children, a birth son and an adopted daughter. Professionally she has spent 25 years working as a management consultant and an executive coach. She works with individuals and teams, helping people better understand themselves and each other and the impact they can and do unknowingly have on each other. Over the years she has also worked as a volunteer with disadvantaged children through schools and through the criminal justice system. Sophie lives in the South of England.
By far one of the best all-around adoption books I have ever read. I can feel the real-life, in the trenches experience of the author come through with deep wisdom and understanding. If there were an adoption parenting road map for establishing love and relationship in a home this is it. Please read and reread. Books at this level of true applicability and parenting guidance are rare.
Bryan Post, www.postinstitute.com