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Book Details
Abstract
In today's fast-paced, increasingly public society, we are expected to be resilient, to have the energy to manage a packed work schedule, social calendar, and a large network of friends, both online and offline, day and night. If you find yourself struggling to live up to, or even enjoy, these non-stop social expectations, then this book is for you.
Written for highly sensitive people, the book explains the characteristics of being highly sensitive and how to overcome common difficulties, such as low self-esteem and the exhausting effects of socialising. Ilse Sand also encourages you to explore and appreciate the advantages of high sensitivity, including your aptitude for depth, intensity and presence, and suggests activities to calm and inspire.
Mental health trainer Sand has developed a number of psychotherapeutic approaches to mental health in Denmark and now turns her attention to the introverted "delicate soul." Her research finds that highly sensitive people often feel overstimulated, have a rich inner life, are easily affected by the moods of others, and are so conscientious that they tend to feel responsible for the actions of those around them. Sand not only helps these individuals deal with the guilt and anger they often feel but also encourages them to appreciate the gifts (e.g., aptitude of depth, intensity, and presence) that they bring to social interaction. VERDICT This work offers affirmation and support for those with acutely impressionable personalities.
Library Journal
This book will be a go-to resource that I will be recommending to all the HSPs I work with; whether they are just discovering what it means or if they've been aware for a while. It provides a perfect balance of inspiration, research, and encouragement for those of us wanting to better understand our trait so that we can be more effective and positively impactful in our own lives and the lives of those around us.
Andy Mort, Songwriter and founder of SheepDressedLikeWolves.com, a website dedicated to inspiring and encouraging creative introverts and HSPs
A book written for HSPs addressing the various facts, joys and challenges of an innate trait. Particularly useful for sensitive people whose anxiety has made it difficult to fully be present in the world or who are struggling to overcome historical obstacles and reach their potential.
Barbara Allen-Williams, Founder, National Centre for High Sensitivity UK (www.hspsensitive.com)
Ilse Sand is a theology graduate from the University of Aarhus, where she wrote her Master's thesis on C.G. Jung and Søren Kierkegaard. She is also trained in several psychotherapeutic approaches and is registered with the Association for Psychotherapy in Denmark. After being employed for several years as a parish priest for the Danish National Church she now works as a supervisor, trainer, speaker and therapist. See more at www.highlysensitive-hsp.com
Translated from the Danish by Elisabeth Svanholmer. Elisabeth is originally from Denmark and has been living in the UK since 2013. Her background is in Dance and Arts, but she has been working as a mental health trainer since 2006 and is particularly passionate about recovery and holistic approaches to mental health. She contacted Ilse and offered to help translate the book and now looks forward to sharing it with an English speaking audience.
Table of Contents
| Section Title | Page | Action | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| Highly Sensitive People | 3 | ||
| Preface | 9 | ||
| Introduction | 13 | ||
| The Characteristics of Being Highly Sensitive | 16 | ||
| Two types within the same species | 16 | ||
| We receive more inputs and think deeply about them | 17 | ||
| Sensitive to sensory inputs | 19 | ||
| Easily affected by the moods of other people | 21 | ||
| Conscientious | 23 | ||
| A rich inner life | 25 | ||
| A natural spiritual curiosity | 26 | ||
| A different strategy | 27 | ||
| Slow and judicious | 30 | ||
| Sensation-seeking sensitive people | 31 | ||
| Introvert or extrovert | 32 | ||
| Pros and cons of typology | 34 | ||
| High Standards and Low Self-Esteem | 36 | ||
| Personal maxims | 36 | ||
| High standards | 37 | ||
| Self-esteem or self-confidence | 38 | ||
| Why highly sensitive people often lack faith in their own worth | 39 | ||
| How low self-esteem and high standards maintain each other | 40 | ||
| When lowering your standards proves difficult | 43 | ||
| The fear of abandonment | 44 | ||
| Seize the opportunity | 46 | ||
| How to Organise Your Life According to Your Type | 48 | ||
| Creating space | 48 | ||
| Setting boundaries | 49 | ||
| When guests linger | 51 | ||
| When you have to say no to something you like | 52 | ||
| Good advice and ideas for dealing with being overwhelmed | 54 | ||
| Some advice about sleep | 55 | ||
| The beneficial effects of Wwter, exercise and physical contact | 57 | ||
| Expressing yourself prevents over-stimulation | 58 | ||
| When you are stimulated from within | 58 | ||
| Telling other people about your sensitivity | 59 | ||
| How to Benefit from Your Ability to Relate to Others and Be Present | 61 | ||
| Highly sensitive people prefer high-quality interactions | 61 | ||
| Take breaks | 62 | ||
| Make sure you are part of a dialogue rather than a monologue | 63 | ||
| Figure out what kind of responses you want to give or receive | 64 | ||
| How to deepen a conversation – and lighten it again | 69 | ||
| Interacting on four levels | 71 | ||
| How to Face Anger: Your Own and Others’ | 78 | ||
| Highly sensitive people have a different strategy when dealing with anger | 78 | ||
| Make use of your abilities to empathise and reflect | 83 | ||
| When it is unwise to be empathic when facing anger | 84 | ||
| When you are not letting others know what you dislike | 85 | ||
| When anger protects us from powerlessness and grief | 87 | ||
| Avoid moralising | 89 | ||
| From ‘should’ to ‘wish’ – from anger to sorrow | 90 | ||
| Guilt and Shame | 93 | ||
| Relevant guilt | 93 | ||
| Excessive guilt feelings | 94 | ||
| Working with guilt feelings | 96 | ||
| Feelings of shame | 98 | ||
| If you are ashamed of your sensitivity | 100 | ||
| Situations in Life | 102 | ||
| Difficulties in relationships | 102 | ||
| To be a highly sensitive parent | 104 | ||
| Mental Health Problems | 107 | ||
| Vulnerability to anxiety and depression | 107 | ||
| Exhaustion and depression | 109 | ||
| Feelings and thoughts are closely related – the cognitive model | 111 | ||
| Sometimes it is wise to prepare for the worst | 113 | ||
| The highly sensitive trait may look like anxiety disorder to outsiders | 115 | ||
| Other problems may contribute to a sensitised nervous system | 117 | ||
| Developing and Growing | 120 | ||
| Highly sensitive people and psychotherapy | 120 | ||
| Loving yourself – supporting yourself | 121 | ||
| Being compassionate towards yourself | 125 | ||
| Reconciliation | 126 | ||
| The joy of becoming yourself | 127 | ||
| Researching the Highly Sensitive Trait | 129 | ||
| Strong reactions to sensory inputs | 129 | ||
| A new articulation | 132 | ||
| Nature and nurture | 134 | ||
| Test results | 134 | ||
| A Gift for the Highly Sensitive | 138 | ||
| Ideas for Highly Sensitive People | 141 | ||
| Inspiring activities | 141 | ||
| Outgoing activities | 141 | ||
| Activities for when you are over-stimulated | 142 | ||
| Test Yourself: How Sensitive Are You? | 147 | ||
| Bibliography | 153 | ||
| Acknowledgements | 157 | ||
| About the Author and Translator | 159 | ||
| Blank Page |