Abstract

People with Asperger's Syndrome have difficulty with interpersonal relationships, yet are well known to be loyal and dependable friends. Wendy Lawson felt she had a knack for upsetting people and was surprised to be told that she 'did friendship rather well'. In her frank and thoughtful analysis of what makes and breaks friendships, she explores what it means to have friends or be a friend - even a friend to oneself; what happens when times are tough and friends are scarce; whether one can be a 'good friend' without effort; and what other kinds of friendships there are, whether imaginary, animal or inanimate. These ideas are accompanied by practical examples, poetry and stories.

Insightful and relevant to people both on and off the autism spectrum, Friendships: The Aspie Way is a fresh approach to a universal issue in human relationships.

`Adult friendships are rarely simple, but for those with Asperger's syndrome, which is characterized by difficulties with social skills, they are especially difficult. Lawson, diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult, has been a counselor, a social worker, and a psychologist. Her latest book is not a how-to guide to 'Aspie' friendships but rather a compilation of questions and answers interspersed with her poetry and friends' contributions. Temple Grandin, Liane Holliday Willey, and others have illuminated their difficulties with social interaction, but most writers on this topic have addressed parents of young children and teens. It is helpful, therefore, for 'neurotypicals,' as well as those with Asperger's, to read about an adult perspective. Especially moving is Lawson's description of her 'autistic meltdown' when she was separated from a friend while shopping and panicked. Her suggestions for avoiding that situation and her frankness about how she has unwittingly broken social codes are helpful, although her writing is more geared toward her own circle than the general public. Recommended for libraries with strong collections in autism spectrum disorders.' - Elizabeth Safford, Nevins Memorial Lib., Methuen, MA

`Another insider's view from this well-known author, who herself has an autistic spectrum disorder. Contains practical advice on all aspects of 'doing friendship well' from its beginning to its end.' - Current Awareness Service (BILD)

`Just like any other 'ship', friendship...means travelling through stormy waters as well as calm.'

* Wendy Lawson

`A frank and thoughtful analysis of what makes and breaks friendships, she explores what it means to have friends or to be a friend - and what other kinds of friendships there are, whether imaginary, animal or inanimate.'

Human Givens Magazine 2006
`The book is well worth exploring, not least to provoke reflection on one's own relationships.'
The Teacher
Wendy Lawson is a mother of four who after years of misdiagnoses was finally diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder in 1994. Her youngest son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 12. Wendy has had an eventful and at times traumatic life and has worked as a qualified counsellor, social worker and psychologist in private practice for many years. She is the author of six books, including Understanding and Working with the Spectrum of Autism, Build Your Own Life: A Self-help Guide for Individuals With Asperger's Syndrome and Sex, Sexuality and the Autism Spectrum and ASPoetry: Illustrated Poems from an Aspie Life, all published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
`This book describes the friendship experiences of individuals with Asperger Syndrome…it is a little book that packs a powerful message: how to recognise, share, nurture, value, enjoy, cope with, avoid and break friendships. The fundamental importance of friendship to life and learning is discussed. Differences between being friendly and friendships are explained. Complex relationships are sensitively explored, for example, friendships between partners, colleagues, longstanding and new friends, family and pets. The impact of personal belief systems on our ability to make and remain friends and the importance of being a friend to oneself are recurrent themes. Concrete examples, tips for avoiding common misunderstandings, friendship `rules', personal anecdotes, non-literal explanations, poetry and contributions from Wendy's friends are woven into a through-provoking read…this book encourages reflection on one's own concepts, beliefs, values and experiences of friendship. It makes a highly emotive subject accessible to all.'
Chris White, Good Autism Practice,Vol.8, May 2007