Abstract

Adoptive, foster and stepmothers, like biological mothers, find their lives completely changed by motherhood although they are not always granted the rights and privileges accorded to those who give birth. Barbara Waterman explores the common experiences that are shared by all those who enter the motherhood portal. She highlights the importance of wider family, community and professional support for non-biological parents and primary care-givers of both genders, and their children. A stepmother herself and a practicing psychologist, Waterman's writing is illustrated throughout with vignettes of children and parents from a range of backgrounds. She shows the important ways in which a non-biological attachment is both more similar to and more different from a biological attachment than is currently understood. In doing this, Waterman broadens the notion of the `traditional' family, and offers a positive alternative to the myth of the perfect mother. All kinds of step-, adoptive and foster families and those coming into contact with them will find this thoroughly researched and personal book an indispensable guide.
Barbara Waterman earned her doctorate in Psychology and Social Relations from Harvard University in 1975. After working through not being able to conceive a child herself and several unsuccessful attempts to adopt, Dr Waterman became a stepmother to twelve-year-old twin daughters over a decade ago. She has a private consultation and psychotherapy practice in Oakland, California.
In this much anticipated book, Barbara Waterman artfully draws us into the world of the non-biological mother and her children. Readers will be impressed with the broad spectrum of psychoanalytic theory to feminist object relations. Whether we parent children, the pluralism of family and parenting situations is increasingly part of our patients worlds, and this book will help all of us gain greater understanding.
Anna Sweetnam Ph.D
A well-informed and passionate book, interspersing real life stories with research findings from social psychology, films and novels. The tone is intense and committed and likely to inspire and support many non-birth mothers and challenge some prejudices.
Community Care